POETIC FORTUNE MACHINE
For the price of a measly quarter, you can have a beautiful poetic fortune–a couplet that will set you on the path to riotuous living and harmony or debauchery and ditch-sleeping, whichever you prefer.
But wait, there’s more . . . if you also want a poetic fortune and cannot come toot sweet to the museum to insert your quarter into the machine, I will gladly do it for you. Send a U.S. dollar bill to my PayPal account (email@example.com), and I will put a quarter in the machine for you and then email you a photo of the fortune you get!
THE ALTAR OF ALLITERATION
If you do not like poetry, I will alter that with this altar (grammar lesson on commonly-confused words, free of charge).
Pick a jar from the altar. Each jar includes 5 items that begin with the same letter. Compose a poem or speech, green bean label, or 21st century religious tome with all 5 words in it. Display it for others to experience. You have alliterated, my friend.